The Power of Small Gestures in my personal life
As I grow older over the years, I have noticed something. The moments that stay with me in my relationships are almost never the big ones. They are the tiny, unexpected gestures that show up in the middle of an ordinary day. My boss once gave me a sign to hang on my wall. It was completely unexpected and to him it was just a quick thing to say “thank you”. But to me it meant a lot. These gestures can really make a person pause and feel genuinely seen. They show that someone took a moment out of their busy day to think of them, and that is a rare feeling in a world full of distractions. People tend to overlook these moments simply because they ARE small, but they forget that it’s simply because they’re small that they carry an emotional weight that lasts. When someone chooses to spend a little of their attention on you, the connection strengthens in a quiet and meaningful way.
When I was thinking about setting up Warmli.chat I started to pay closer attention to how I feel when someone remembers something small about my life. It always surprises me how much it softens the edges. When a friend checks in about something I mentioned once, or a coworker circles back to ask how something went, it creates a feeling of warmth that stays with me for hours. And the same is true in reverse, I’ve been shocked when I watch someone meet with a team member and don’t start the conversation with a SINCERE “Hey, how are you” or “Hey, before we get started, last week you mentioned that you were trying to … How’s that going for you?” I try to remember how important it is that people don’t feel like they’re moving through my days unnoticed. Someone saw me, and they held on to a piece of what I shared. That simple act changes the way people relate to you. They can feel more open, more willing to share, and more comfortable being their whole self. It is almost like these little moments build a bridge between our lives, one small piece at a time. When I look back, I realize that many of my strongest relationships grew from these exact interactions, quiet exchanges that slowly built a deeper sense of connection.
I have seen this play out at work as well. People rarely remember every detail of a presentation or the exact words in a meeting, but they always remember how someone made them feel during a stressful moment. I’ve repeatedly found the old adage true “people don’t care what you know until they know that you care.” A quick message saying “you handled that well,” or a simple follow up after a big project, can shift how someone sees you & themselves. It makes the workplace feel a little more human. I have worked with leaders who were brilliant from a technical perspective but difficult to connect with. I have also worked with leaders who made a habit of noticing effort, acknowledging stress, and checking in. Both leaders certainly had their strengths, but the difference in morale was dramatic. Small gestures build trust faster than any formal leadership program. They turn teams into safe places, and safe places naturally turn into places where people work better together. These small moments shape culture more than most strategies ever will.
In my personal life, the pattern is the same. With limited exceptions (i.e. my kids) the moments I treasure most are not the big events. They are the subtle, thoughtful gestures that slip quietly into my day. I tell my kids that one of my fondest memories of my father was going out to a local restaurant and getting a hot dog. But a text from a friend saying thanks for something I’d helped them with or a “thank you lunch” for helping write something cool. THESE moments become stories. They become reminders that someone is paying attention to the small things that make me who I am. When I think about relationships that drifted over time, I can almost always see the turning point, and almost universally I think about how I’d MEANT to send them a message. With two exceptions, I can’t think of any relationships that have ended due to bad intentions, but because no one took the tiny steps to keep the connection warm. The beautiful thing is that small gestures can also bring a relationship back. A simple check in can pull someone closer again. It does not take much to reconnect two people who still care. In fact, one of the things that sparked the creation of Warmli was me sending a message to a friend of mine because I’d needed a favor. I couldn’t bring myself to write it despite REALLY needing help. Instead I took the time and sent a small note telling them I was thinking about something they’d done and how it’d influenced me.
Truthfully, the best part is that small gestures do not require a lot of planning or emotional effort. They simply require someone to notice. When I started sending thoughtful messages just to say hi and remember something funny it became a habit that felt natural instead of forced. These moments make my relationships feel lighter and warmer, and they make me feel more connected to the people I care about.
To be clear, what I’m talking about is a habit and therefore it takes effort to build. But it’s easy to start. Just pick one person, send one message, and trust that even the smallest gesture can help someone feel seen. Over time, these little moments stack up. They turn into a pattern of care that feels steady and real. Strengthening a relationship does not have to be overwhelming. It starts with one small gesture that takes one minute, and that is usually enough to make a difference today.
